10 Commandments for Parenting.
The following are the best rules ever suggested to parents and guardians:
- Thou shalt be truly consistent. Do as you say you will. Kids understand where they stand when you are consistent, follow through and indicate what you mean.
- Thou shalt expect children to contribute (without being paid). Expect children to help at home but don't anticipate them to do so happily all the time. Remember that motivation and praise will get children to participate a lot more than criticism and punishment, so be your kid's best encourager rather than his fiercest critic. Support helps a child link his or her self-esteem to the process, rather than the outcomes of what they do.
- Thou shalt put responsibility where it belongs. Treat kids and youths as you want them to be. If you desire responsible, capable kids then treat them as if they are responsible. The best method to establish responsibility is to give it to kids and see what they do with it.
- Thou shalt be known that children and young people just see one side of any problem. Thou shalt take everything they say with a big pinch of salt. Not that kids and young people lie, but they have actually been known to overemphasise and exaggerate situations and tend to always see matters only from their point of view.
- Thou shalt shower your children with love. Thou shalt say you love each of your children a minimum of once a day. Knowing they are loved is the basis of self-worth, despite their age. We can all do with knowing we are loved by the special people in our lives.
- Thou shalt always catch kids behaving well. Take notice of your kids' positive behaviour more than their negative behaviour. Exactly what you focus on develops so if you focus on the favourable behaviour that is exactly what you typically get. Provide detailed feedback so that your kids understand exactly what they succeeded.in E.g., "That was terrific the way you two worked out the TV-watching issue without arguing, You both compromised a little which meant that you avoided an argument".
- Thou shalt establish independence in kids from the earliest possible age. Never regularly do for a child the things they can do for themselves. Remember, your job is to make yourself redundant and encourage your kids to be independent mindful adults.
- Thou shalt set limits and boundaries for kids and expect that they will push against them. Children and young people require limitations and boundaries as this can make them feel secure.
- Thou shalt try to always keep a sense of humour when dealing with children. This will help you keep things in perspective. It may seem impossible some days but remember, all too quickly your kids will mature and be out of your hair and be a living, breathing reflection of YOU.
And last but not least!
- Thou shalt be a good role model for your children. Show by example. Monkey see, monkey do come to mind. Show children how you want them to communicate and behave. As parents, your actions speak louder than your words.
That motivation and appreciation will get kids a lot further than criticism and punishment so become your child's finest encourager rather than his fiercest critic.